As if dating sites couldnt get more pathetic

January 30th, 2006 @ 10:28 am

We are now working with Dr. Phil! Working in consultation with Dr. Phil, we’ve created MindFindBind¿. It’s a new three-step program that’s dedicated to helping people enjoy success in the kind of relationships they value. The program uses video and audio programming to deliver insight, self-awareness, and reinforcement all along the way. MindFindBind¿ with Dr.Phil is a no-nonsense approach to dating and relationships. Just imagine…everything he knows about relationships with everything we know about online dating. I personally can not wait to go on my first date with someone who joined the service due to dr. phil brainwash, It will give me that much harder an erection when I slit their throat and watch them slowly bleed to death.

Willy

Sex.com sells for $12 Million

January 24th, 2006 @ 11:03 am

Sex.com, long coveted as potentially one of the most lucrative sites on the Web because of its catchy name, has been sold for about $12 million in cash and stock, a source familiar with the deal said Monday. Its only a matter of time until I sell “ratemymangina.com” and break that landmark price.

Willy

Al-Qaeda AIDS Suicide Bombers!

January 23rd, 2006 @ 2:14 pm

AL-QAEDA is recruiting suicide bombers who are infected with the AIDS virus, according to documents revealed to the Sunday Mirror. Terror chiefs are also targeting fanatics who suffer other lethal blood diseases such as hepatitis and dengue fever in order to increase their “kill rate” from an explosion. The chilling new threat is revealed in papers distributed to British military camps in Iraq and across Europe. Under the heading “HIV/Hepatitis” the document states: “There is evidence that terrorists might be deliberately recruiting volunteers with diseases that are spread by blood transference.” I’m not saying I disagree with the physics of it all. I just wanna suggest that this is the little white lie for “sorry honey, things were fucked up over there and I accentally got overzealous with an infected band of wild Cambodean hookers.” It’s not like she wasn’t getting baffed by the milkman here in the motherland.

Willy